


By Your Side

by gilsoonie



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 10:42:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16016255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilsoonie/pseuds/gilsoonie
Summary: If it means that one day you'll be back in my arms, then I'll wait forever.





	By Your Side

The stage felt unbearably empty.  

Despite the unusual number of backup dancers who now accompanied them during the majority of their few performances, any performance with only five Super Junior members felt  _wrong_.  Individually, of course, there were many perks, especially for Jungsu and Heechul, who were now able to showcase their underestimated talents as vocalists. Others, mainly Jongwoon and himself, were able to prove that the two of them weren’t  _completely_  hopeless at following the group’s choreography (although freestyle, on the other hand, will forever remain a different story).  The line distribution, alongside the coveted center position, was also shared more equally, allowing for each of the remaining members to have more than a few seconds of spotlight.

Yet, despite how logical it was for almost any other group stick with this reasoning, Super Junior was never one to follow such rationality. Instead, it just felt wrong. Not only did the members themselves feel the awkwardness from the substantial vacancy while standing on such a colossal stage as group of four, the overall mood was beginning to feel downright depressing. Starting with Hangeng and Kibum’s departure from the group (as well as the fan’s rejection of Zhou Mi and Henry as official members), the stage dynamic had never felt quite right, only to later intensify with Youngwoon’s sudden military enlistment, which was then soon followed by Heechul, Jungsu, and Jongwoon.

Somehow, the group managed to survive without their leader, their residential diva, and even their main vocalist.  Despite the additional strain that affected the whole group as they toured more of the world, as well as the increasing frequency and intensity of their activities, they were able to slowly adapt as time passed.  Yet, just as the sense of familiarity began to find its place once more, they were met with Donghee and Sungmin’s departures, though Jongwoon’s return did bring back some sense of relief.  The dulling emptiness intensified later when Donghae, Hyukjae, and Siwon were all suddenly enlisting to serve their duty within a few months’ time.  Even now, with the addition of Youngwoon’s extended period of reflection and Ryeowook’s enlistment being the most recent, it was becoming dreadfully pitiful that the South Korean military now had more active members within their ranks in comparison to Super Junior itself.

With a quick glance across the brightly-lit stage, Kyuhyun felt himself internally grieving.  A Super Junior performance was never intended for four people, regardless of the number of backup dancers filling in for the enlisted members.  He knew it, all of the other members knew it, hell, even their beloved ELFs, who continued to support them despite the years of trouble, instability, and backlash, knew that a four member Super Junior was just plain  _wrong_.

“ _It’s alright._ ” Jungsu’s voice rang from the opposite side of the stage, almost as if he were placating Kyuhyun’s distressed thoughts.

Before he knew it, Kyuhyun suddenly found himself surrounded by the other members, each of them taking turns to playfully poke and prod at him with the butt of their microphones.  However, despite the crooked smile he flashed towards the others, the youngest member found himself overwhelmed with a cascade of emotions.  The familiar rush of warm tears began to gather in the corner of his eyes, alongside an unexpected heaviness in his chest when, instead of the soft, yet silvery voice he yearned for, Jongwoon’s dark and husky voice began to sing lines that, in Kyuhyun’s opinion, didn’t belong to him.

~*~

“I hate it when you look used to me,”

_Glancing down, Kyuhyun found himself losing the battle against his widening grin as Ryeowook beamed, almost flirtatiously_ _, at him._

“I still get nervous when I see you,”

_The original choreography designed for their fan meetings had the two on opposite sides of the stage, focusing the majority of their attention on the ELFs in the crowd. Yet, with both being the defiant members that they were, the two instead chose to deviate from the practiced moves. Instead, Kyuhyun idly swung his arm over the shorter man’s shoulder, while at the same time, Ryeowook molded himself against the taller man’s side, enveloping him into a tight embrace as they serenaded one another._

“Just like I imagined,”

“We fit together so well.”

_Their reasons for such public displays of affection, especially on stage in front of thousands of people, were more selfish than expected.  Even if it did bring glee to the fans who swooned at even the simplest sight of fan service and even if it was encouraged by the higher-ups, the two simply used it as yet another excuse to embrace one another, despite how frequently they did the same outside the public eye._

_Yet, what initially started as a playful act of affection slowly transformed into an act of desperation.  With every month, along with each Super Camp fan meeting, passing by in the blink of the eye, each hug on and off camera began to instinctively grow tighter.  After all, the once slow trickle of time was now suddenly speeding past at an alarming rate and it wouldn’t be long until Kyuhyun would be forced to a life where he would return home each night to a desolate apartment._

~*~

Kyuhyun found himself rapidly blinking the tears away, absently shaking his head towards Jungsu, who glanced at him, his eyes flashing signs of concern for group’s youngest member.

“I’m okay” he mouthed reassuringly, just before following the others’ actions, turning his attention to the stage’s large screen.

The song came to its cheerful climax as Heechul began to cover Hyukjae’s rap.  Yet, when it came to their name in the rap, instead of a conglomeration of peace signs, winks, and other cute actions pointed in the direction of the sea of fans, the members all stood deathly still, each directing a proud salute towards the concert hall’s big screen.  One after another, photographs of the group’s missing members began to slowly fade onto the screen

Donghee was the first to fill the lit screen, closely followed by Sungmin.  Gradually, Hyukjae, Donghae, and Siwon’s images began to show up one by one.

And then finally, for the first time in weeks,  _he_  appeared before Kyuhyun’s eyes.

The unaccustomed sight of the shorter man was not only difficult to take in, but nearly heart wrenching for the younger man.  Instead of the captivating smile that never ceased to make his heart pound, Kyuhyun was forced to see an unfamiliar and dispassionate expression.  The lustrous and soft head of chestnut colored hair that his fingers longed to run through once more was also long gone, having been shaved off weeks ago and dyed back to its natural darker shade.  None of that seemed to matter though since what little length that remained was concealed beneath the oversized, protective headgear.  However, what tore Kyuhyun the most was the sight of the petite body that he yearned to hold in his arms, be nearly swallowed up by the melancholic green and gray shades of the South Korean military uniform.

~*~

_“You know what? You could totally pass as Gollum now,” Kyuhyun remarked teasingly, playfully patting the prickly top of Ryeowook’s freshly shaven head._

_“Shut it Mushroom,” a playful nudge came from Ryeowook, who lay with his back pressed against the younger man’s chest. “Like your mess of a hairstyle is any better. You’re lucky I won’t be here to make fun of **you**  when it’s your turn to look like Gollum. Maybe I should add a couple insults to my letters before you enlist to make up for lost time.”_

_Kyuhyun huffed, “As if your one letter would be able make its way to me when it’s competing against the **thousands**  that I get from fans all over the world.”_

_Masking his emotions had been hard at first, especially for a teenager who bore little to no experience in the real world.  It wasn’t until the following months after his official debut and slew of hate thrown towards him that Kyuhyun grew accustomed to the various techniques used to hide his true feelings. Even after nearly ten years as a well-known celebrity, one of the best approaches he constantly found himself resorting to when the need to numb his feelings arose was the use of snarky comments, dark humor, and even becoming emotionally detached._

_The same technique had been useful as of late, especially within the most recent days. Ryeowook’s final good-bye to the remainder of his close friends and family had ended hours ago at Jongwoon’s family’s coffee shop.  Rather than a somber night filled with drunken induced tears and grieving that Kyuhyun had prepared himself for, the closely knit group found themselves enjoying their last night together, sharing countless tales of “remember when’s”, alongside the harmless teasing, though the silent sense of solemnness still lingered amongst them._

_Even now, as the rest of Seoul slowly began to retired for the night, Kyuhyun found himself to have preserved much more composure than he had initially anticipated.  Away from the other members, who now lived in their separate homes, and away from Ryeowook’s parents- both who insisted on renting a comfortable hotel room for the night-, the two spent the final hours before the dreaded enlistment ceremony lying together on Ryeowook’s cramped, twin sized mattress while an unsystematic collection of songs softly occupied the background._

_“And even if I do receive a letter, I probably won’t have the time to read it, let alone respond.”_

_“I’m really going to miss this.,” Ryeowook murmured, his tone contradicted the Kyuhyun’s teases. “Our talks, our silence...I’m really going to miss you Kyu.”_

_“Try not to miss me too much Ryeonggu,” Kyuhyun snorted in response, fully aware of the tremors in his voice that was slowly beginning to make itself more apparent.  Instead of the outright snarky tone he was typically able to shoot back in such situations, the younger man found his usual quips to carry an underlying tone of grief._

_“After all, Korea’s favorite autumn balladeer will be busy balancing his time between touring and television appearances.”_

_Ryeowook merely let out a small, yet unsettling chuckle in response. The two quickly fell into a heavy silence as the soft sounds of Ryeowook’s playlist filled the room. The tears that the younger male had been forcing himself to keep in threatened to spill as he heard his own voice, communicating his current thoughts, gently trickle from the speakers._

“For a long time, without change, we stayed the same...”

_Kyuhyun looked past the top of Ryeowook’s shaven head, concentrating all of his thoughts and attention on the bare shelves of the older man’s now emptied bedroom.  He willed himself to stop the tears from flowing as he took in even amounts of breath, although his mind continued to drift off._

_There was now less than a day remaining before the time would finally arrive and Ryeowook would be whisked away from him. There would only be a few hours left before Kyuhyun could finally let the wall that he had painstakingly built during these last few months crumble when he would find himself returning alone to their shared apartment.  Neither of them said anything, opting to lay in silence, as the song’s lyrics continued to express their joint sentiments._

“You and I, just like always…”

_“...Make sure you don’t stay up too late okay?  And be sure to eat plenty of vegetables while I’m gone.”_

_Kyuhyun found himself unable to respond, feeling constricted by the growing lump in his throat. Instead, tears began to dampen the inner corners of Kyuhyun’s eye. He found himself unable to rectify the solemn situation through his typical witty retorts. Wet salty tears slid down his cheeks as the brunette bit down on his lower lip, breaking through the fragile skin in attempt to keep himself from out rightly sobbing._

_“It’s not fair.”_

_“It never is.”_

_“Who’s going to listen to me complaining all the time?  Who else is going to cry with me in the dead of night?”_

_The figure in front of Kyuhyun stiffened ever so slightly for a moment before relaxing once more. Just like he had always done in the past, Ryeowook’s small hand found its way to Kyuhyun’s, instinctively curling shut and interlocking their fingers together with a familiar hold. “You’ll be okay Kyuhyun…you have to be.”_

_“Your room will be empty when I come in during the middle of the night. I won’t have anyone to have late night meals with or even to sneak off to watch musicals with. Everyone else is either too busy or too tired.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“…Why couldn’t they let us go together Ryeonggu?” Kyuhyun croaked, finally letting the emotions that had been bottled up for so long slip through the cracks. His usual velvety voice quivered almost fearful in between each breath. “For the past ten years...we’ve always been together and now...”_

_The mattress gently rocked as Ryeowook rolled onto his side, his already tear-stained expression now facing Kyuhyun.  Despite the wetness constantly flowing from the corners of his eyes, the smiling male cupped Kyuhyun’s face into his hands, gently wiping away the younger man’s tears with his thumbs._

_“Everything’s going to be okay. We can make it through this, I swear to you.”_

_With a pair of glistening brown eyes, filled to the brim of determination and warmth, peering back at him, Kyuhyun found himself nodding back albeit with some hesitation. Yet, despite his fears and worries, Ryeowook’s determined words seemed to carry some sense of comfort as the weight in his chest lessened ever-so-slightly.  Sniffling, he blinked back the remainder of his tears._

_“I’m going to miss you so damn much. For the next few years, I’m going to make it my personal mission to piss off the postal workers and managers by asking them every single day if there are any letters from you.”_

_Ryeowook’s eyes glistened with amusement as Kyuhyun wiped away tears with the ends of his sleeves. “I look forward to hearing the managers’ complaints.”_

_“And I’m going to respond to every single one of your letters with essay length replies.”_

_“I would expect nothing less from you.”_

_“In the meantime, you’re going to be the most badass sniper in the entire army and show everyone that you’re not some thin wristed weakling who still sucks at sports and video games.”_

_An amused chuckle slipped between Ryeowook’s lips as he leaned forwards, pressing his cheek against Kyuhyun’s chest.  Instinctively, his arms tightly wrapped themselves around the younger man's lanky frame. Kyuhyun, smiling earnestly for the first time in weeks at the sound of Ryeowook’s melodious laugh, closed his eyes with a comforted sigh as he pressed his nose against prickly hair._

_“And I’ll try my hardest to come see you perform during my breaks, so you better take good care of yourself, instead of getting vocal nodules or drinking your sorrows away like some angsty teenager.”_

_The brunette simply nodded, pulling Ryeowook’s small form closer to himself.  They laid in silence as the closing notes of “Alright” rang, only to be replaced with another one of their group song. Kyuhyun found himself slowly nodding off, his eyelids growing heavier by the minute. He was almost asleep when a hesitating whisper called out to him._

_“...Kyu?”_

_“Mmm...yeah?” he sleepily murmured._

_“When this is all over...will you still be by my side?”_

~*~

Despite the growing fatigue from their individual schedules, Kyuhyun remembered neither of them getting any proper rest that night.  Instead, they spent their final hours tightly wrapped in each other’s embrace, opting instead to revisiting the happier memories of their shared past together  Even as the sun finally rose once more from its short slumber, neither of them moved, at least not until the managers and Jungsu were banging on the bedroom door.

As their final performance of the night ended, the younger man waved once more towards the lively audience before trailing after the other members.  With each staff members and backup dancers that he passed on the way to the dressing room, Kyuhyun bowed his head, thanking and praising everyone for their hard work.  The moment he stepped foot into the shared waiting room, he found himself weighed down when a thin, but surprisingly strong, arm playfully swung around his shoulder while at the same time, his sweaty hair was crudely ruffled into a bigger mess than it already was.

“Good work today Kim Kyu,” Heechul piped, flashing a devilish grin at Kyuhyun’s discomfort. “Thanks to you, I’m fifty thousand wons richer. Jongwoon didn’t think you’d be able to keep in the waterworks when Ryeowookie’s picture showed up, but I was rooting for you the whole time.”

“Kim Heechul…” Jungsu warned, swallowing a mouthful of water before continuing. “Be nice.”

Shrugging off the leader’s warning, the group’s residential diva tightened his grip around Kyuhyun. “But don’t you worry now. Time will fly by  _much_  faster once you’re enlisted too.”

Gently, Jungsu managed to pry Kyuhyun free of Heechul’s grasp. Ignoring the man’s boisterous, almost maniacal, laughter, the group leader took the younger man’s hand into his own, maneuvering the two of them through the backstage crowd and towards a vacant dressing room.  Following the older man’s faint nod, Kyuhyun slowly lowered himself onto the leather couch, eyes curiously lingering on the always (as well as freakishly) calm Jungsu that towered above him.

“You know…the two of you have already experienced worse ordeals.  Much worse.  I won’t lie to you and say a two year separation won’t be hard, because honestly, it’s far from that.  There are going to be days where time flies by like a dream, but there will also be bad days where you’ll feel hopeless, constantly filled with doubts and concerns.  You might even feel like you’ve both lost your connection in the midst of all this, but in the end, if anything, you’ll both come back with an even stronger bond.”

“How do you know that hyung?  What makes you so sure?”

Jungsu’s trademark dimple made itself known once more as his lips curved upwards into an understanding smile. His eyes twinkled knowingly, despite Kyuhyun’s quizzical gaze. “Personal experience. Afterall, distance gives us a reason to love even harder.”

~*~

_Kyuhyun pulled the purple duvet over his head, letting out a sigh as he stared at the glowing red numbers of Ryeowook’s bedside clock._ 2:00 AM _it read. It had been less than a day since he had seen the smaller man disappear within the looming gates of the training center._

_“I hope you're dressed warmly Ryeonggu,” the brunette mused, pulling one of the many giraffe plushies to his chest._

_With his free hand, Kyuhyun tapped the home button of his phone.  His lips tilted upwards as his eyes lingered over the image on the screen.  The two of them had nearly bloodshot eyes, yet their contradicting grins were genuine. By that point, the managers had begun to urge Ryeowook to quickly enter the training center grounds before trouble could arise, but instead, the two decided to huddle together and take one last selfie._ _The memory made the brunette chuckle as he thought back to the managers’ and Jungsu’s exasperated sighs when he had pulled Ryeowook into his arms for a final hug.  Letting him slip from his embrace been easier than he had imagined, although he might have been more hesitant to let Ryeowook go if the skeptical military officials and pesky journalists weren’t scrutinizing them._

_It wouldn’t be long until it would be his turn.  And by that point in time, it only meant that they would be reunited sooner._

_But even then, Kyuhyun smiled brokenly, his glittering tears coursing down the same path that had been taken earlier in the day.  His shaky fingers hovered over Ryeowook’s loving grin as he thought back to smaller man’s innocent question._

_He remembered laying there in a drowsy stupor, only to be jolted awake when he found himself caught off-guard by the sudden question.  He remembered glancing down, locking eyes with frightened, but nevertheless warm, brown ones.  He remembered leaning down and planting a small kiss on those thin lips before answering, his voice laced with sincerity._

_“I’ll always be here.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for your support <3


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